‘But first, do no harm’ – Self compassion and practising the first principal of Yoga (Ahimsa – Non-V

What if we lived in a world where no one intentionally thought, spoke or caused harm to one another? What if no one ever deceived, insulted or injured others purposely?

‘Non-violence’ is the simplest translation of ‘Ahimsa’, the first and perhaps the most important principal of Yoga.

The foundations of Yoga are built upon the philosophy of what is known as “The Eight Limbs of Yoga” – an elegant framework offering us guidance for deepening our practices both on and off the mat.

The first limb is made up of the ‘Yamas’; self-regulating behaviours which help direct us in living in harmony with others and the world around us. And of course, being in harmony with others must mean we are first in harmony with ourselves.

‘Ahimsa (non-violence)’ is the very first Yama, teaching us to soften in subtle ways, as so we can live a life rooted in love, with compassion for both ourselves and those around us. Although the first thought many have of the idea of ‘violence’ is of war or physical harm, violence can be manifested in actions, words and in thoughts. The opposite of violence is that of true compassion, which we are innate beings of. We can forgivably forget this from time to time, especially when it comes to compassion towards ourselves.

Through Ahimsa we learn to be gentle with ourselves – our thoughts, our fears, our failures, our vulnerabilities. When we learn to totally and completely meet and embrace all of our inner darkness, we are able to transcend these aspects of ourselves, continuing to spread our light into the world.

We learn that we cannot fight with our lives, we cannot ignore, cannot run from, cannot avoid the things that we do not want to be there. We, as humans, have a way of placing the heaviness of ‘should’ on situations, we carry expectations of how things ‘should’ be and get rather flustered when they are not. This is very true of our own expectations for ourselves – our inner dialogue can be quite often merciless, even when we are an inch away from where we ‘should’ be.

Embracing Ahimsa firstly means embracing every shade of ourselves and being honest with every aspect of our lives. When we don’t act according to our truth, but out of fear, we are acting with violence towards ourselves. Truth and non-violence always work together in poetic harmony. As Ghandi said:

When I look for Ahimsa, Truth says, ”Find it through me.” When I look for Truth, Ahimsa says, ”Find it out through me.’

We can think of Ahimsa as a pair of gentle hands inspecting the details of a flower – softly touching each leaf, respecting every detail just as it is. They do not come to a less-than-perfect leaf and respect it any less, or try to tear it off. They do not avoid the thorns from fear of getting hurt – they give their gentle and deserved attention to all parts of the flower. They do not wish it was a different colour, a more ‘beautiful’ flower – they take in the whole of it, exactly in its form.

To live our Ahimsa means to be like this towards ourselves. To see all of our broken and beautiful pieces all as one and to love them all unconditionally and without trying to change them. We more often than not get quite exhausted running around constantly trying to change ourselves or something inside us that we feel should be different than what it is. When we allow ourselves to fully feel everything that we are feeling, we are living our Ahimsa. This does not mean that we cannot or should not try to change ourselves – but what if we set aside the need to improve ourselves all the time and just simply allowed our experiences to unfold moment by moment? What if we shifted our intention to simply taking the time to just be with ourselves, through all of the good and also the bad, in a nurturing and non-judgemental way? Feelings are always going to demand to be felt, and to do this can be immensely difficult. But it is through shining our light of awareness into our darkest places that we can grow. We can develop the willingness to lean into discomfort, and therefore discomfort will no longer be so.

Once we can approach ourselves compassionately – we can notice when we are giving ourselves a hard time in our own mind. To practice Ahimsa means to be constantly vigilant – to observe our own thoughts and filter ourselves from harm, as we would protect anything else we love from damage. We can notice when we are judging or setting expectations of ourselves, which cause us to react harshly when we don’t get what we want. We can listen to these thoughts. Once we are aware of them, we don’t need to push them away. We can just choose to soften, and to accept them. Accept that they are there, and they will leave on their own. It is by holding onto these thoughts and repeating them over and over that they become an act of violence to our scared spirits. With awareness we can just notice them, even laugh at them – laugh at the predictability of the coming and going, and the often ridiculousness of them, and they shall pass.

We practice our Ahimsa in our postures by choosing to be totally there with our bodies completely as they are today, this moment, right now. Not how they were the other day, or how we think they ‘should’ be. Not comparing our postures to X, Y and Z’s postures in the room. We can choose to work with our bodies with unwavering attention and love, which they absolutely deserve, regardless of any thoughts we have that moment. The most simple and natural guidance of all is to give your breath your complete focus – always. If your breath is shallow, laboured, fast, non-existent or uncomfortable in any way – don’t do it! That goes for most situations in life. When your postures restrict your breathing, they are an act of harming, and not life-supporting. Listen to the wonderful inner guidance system of your breathing, and stay at a place where your breath can flow freely.

Developing Ahimsa towards ourselves builds our foundation to live our Ahimsa to all beings. Learning to drop judgements on ourselves means we can learn to drop judgements on others and see other people exactly as they are – just like us, flawed and perfectly imperfect. We can extend our limitless compassion to others and let go of negative or harmful thoughts, words and actions. Instead, we can cultivate the awareness of bringing an attitude of understanding and openness to every situation and relationship we have – building authentic interconnectedness by embracing things wholly as they are, right now.

My Experience of Ahimsa…

For me, living my Ahimsa is noticing when I am pulled out of balance. This is easily done by over-working, trying too hard, or simply over-doing. Respecting myself means making the time and space in my life to stay balanced through practicing yoga, meditation, having fun and staying inspired and healthy. Practising self-compassion is exactly that – a practice, and practising is rarely ever always easy. Practising Ahimsa to me means trying to be gentle to myself in my own mind, which can at times feel like a difficult task. However, just being aware of these thoughts can keep me separate from them and keep me from becoming smothered in necessary harmful thinking. I have learnt that I don’t have to fight with them – this is also harmful. I can just let them come and go like clouds passing in the sky, without trying to change them. The more I practice, the easier it becomes, but there are many days where of course, I can be pulled into these. Then I learn practicing Ahimsa for my Ahimsa! Learning and practicing this makes me accept other people for who they are, and truly see them without judgement. Again, this is a practice, and a never-ending one, but one that brings depth and understanding to every single day.

All love,

Adéle x